Today is mine and Cody’s three year anniversary which has been a huge roller coaster ride. Just like any other couple, we have had our ups and downs, but one thing that hasn’t changed is how much we love each other. Well…I hope his love hasn’t changed cause mine sure hasn’t.
These last three years have brought me the happiest days of my life and I was thinking about how I literally can’t get enough of Cody. Like, I will spend all day with him and still crave his attention when I go home. I hate when I’m not sleeping next to him, when our schedules don’t align and I don’t get to see him for a few days. It’s just crazy, I don’t know. It makes me wonder how many other couples are that way, or if they like to have more time apart.
I was going through and thinking about all the things we do each day/week that might contribute to me still feeling this way, and I think whether you’re in a relationship now or want to be in one in the future, you can benefit from reading this. I’m not saying this is a secret formula to relationships because I don’t think there is one…But these are three things that have proven to make our relationship strong.
1. Communicate about everything. It may seem obvious, like we know Lauren…how can you have a relationship without communication? But I’m talking about REAL and honest communication. Taking the time to ask how your day was, and really listen. There is nothing more annoying than telling a story and the other person is sitting on their phone, or nodding along and you know they’re not paying attention to you.
From the simplest of things like this to actually being vocal about what you’re feeling. We used to have a lot of issues because I’m notorious for avoiding confrontation and I would just bottle everything up until he breathed wrong and I blew up over every little thing he did in the last 2 weeks. When really, all of it could’ve been avoided if I just told him, “hey, when you did _____ yesterday, it made me feel ___” or “hey babe, it really bothers me when you _____.” Then find a way to solve the problem together instead of placing all the blame on them.
I think another big pillar of communication is being open with each other about what you want. I think it’s so funny because on our first date, Cody was very upfront about how closed off he is about telling new people things. But, every time I asked him a question, he always answered it honestly. He told me that wasn’t normal but he just felt so comfortable with me. And I think that’s how it should be. I don’t think relationships should be more work than they already are. I am an open book and you can ask me anything and I will tell you. From very early in our relationship when I accidentally slipped talking about my future wedding and said our…literally 2 months into dating…how he didn’t run off then I’m not sure. Knowing each other’s goals, plans, and making a future together is what it’s all about.
2. Support each other. Me and Cody have been together long enough that we’ve gone through quite a few different seasons of life. When we met, I didn’t care at all about fitness. All I thought I’d do in my life is graduate school and become a teacher. Cody was in school too during that time to become an HVAC installer (which he does now). Through the last three years, Cody has quit school to start working full time, sold and bought 2 trucks, and lost family members. In that same time, I have graduated school, moved home, found my passion for fitness and nutrition and I’m starting to build my own business. Through the thick and thin of it all though, there has never been a day one of us has told the other not to go for it.
We live in a time where anything is possible and so many people will doubt your choices or talk behind your back about xy and z. All my crazy thoughts have been shared with Cody and he is usually the one to hype me up when I start doubting myself. We have always said we’d figure it out, whatever each of us wants in life-we’d find a way to get there.
Last but the one I love the most…
3. Kiss them any chance you get. Affection is a huge deal in relationships and it’s easy to let your day get the best of you. You come home pissed at the world about something that happened at work and it gets put on your significant other. Me and Cody have always been the couple who will goof around with each other in public, he’s constantly trying to tickle me or I do something embarrassing like dance awkwardly down the street. We have also always been the couple who kisses when we see each other (no matter where we’re at), and hugs goodbye and says I love you more times than necessary. It keeps our love alive. It keeps it interesting. I don’t want to live in a world where I don’t get greeted with a kiss or a slap on the butt when I’m cooking dinner. Kiss more. Laugh more. And love more.
I know there are so many things that make a great relationship, do you think I nailed it on the head or would you add different ones? I think your relationship should grow with the seasons you’re in, but the feelings and silliness should continue through it all.